Monday, May 10, 2010
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darnit...
Positive self affirmations are especially necessary after working completely alone in your flower shop on MOTHERS DAY! What was I thinking? I actually thought I could do it all seamlessly? It turns out I'm not a super hero. I did not have a moments rest from early Friday morning until late Sunday evening. I experienced extreme emotional shifts from nervous anticipation, panic, hysteria and that lovely bit of giddy relief that comes after the mayhem has subsided. The Coriander Dad was my delivery man and moral support. At one point he practically shook me and said, "Remember that you want this." At dinner last night he also offered this thought as I scarfed down my quarter white with fries and a side of rib sauce, "Imagine the stress you'd feel if no one came in?" Isn't that the truth.
For me the stress comes when I feel unprepared, not being able to accommodate everyone and sadly having to let a few people leave without flowers in their hand. I had made a good bunch of pre-made bouquets that were gone in the first ten minutes. There I stood looking down at buckets of flowers and wondering, "How am I going to do this all on my own?" At some point I've got to let go and allow for people to come in and help me but I'm so afraid. I'm not sure what I'm afraid of exactly, probably just giving up 100% of the control that I currently have 100% of the time. Maybe, I'm afraid to let someone see just how much of this is me winging it every single day. Maybe I'm afraid of change. I don't know.
One thing I am sure of is the need to assess, make plans, and set some serious goals. I thought Valentine's Day was the big one, heck that was a cake walk compared to this week end. For every person that came in, I thank you for your patience and kindness towards me while waiting for your arrangements. Many of you popped across the street for a coffee and waited while I prepared something for you. For everyone who said, "No worries, I'll be back in an hour." only to come back and wait an additional twenty minutes, thank you. Coriander Girl is learning and growing and making mistakes and trying her very best to please all of you and to make you feel as welcome in my shop as you would be if I had invited you into my home. Might I suggest in future to those seriously perturbed, pre-ordering will definitely help me help you next year. And for those of you who ordered and didn't come back, shame on you.
Thanks for listening.