Pages

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

The story of Adeline




Tara McMullen Photography


My water broke in a lavender field. The PEC lavender festival of all places, a two day event where thousands flock to experience the magic. You might not know but coriander is my second favourite herb. I was surrounded by beauty, Tyler beside me, Hattie between us squealing with delight as we came over the hill. It was nothing short of a dreamy carnival. 
Many familiar faces were there and friends came over to say hello. I joked, "this could happen any minute now, I'm feeling the feelings today and I'm one day past due." Just as the words escaped my mouth, a warm release of fluid came trickling down my leg. "Guys my water is breaking!" It was one of the most exhilarating feelings I've ever experienced,  something I missed out on with Hattie because they had to induce me due to low amniotic fluid. It's because of my traumatic birth with Hattie that the anticipation of our second daughter for 9 months had been wrought with anxiety, fear and doubt. 
I was dreading the possibility of another emergency c-section. Every week with my midwives I'd oscillate between trying for a natural birth experience or just booking a "nice" c-section where I could at least be awake and Tyler could be in the room, I couldn't decide. I was hoping nature would decide for me and I'd go into labour the day I was due. I remember telling my midwives early on that I longed for a birth experience in the woods with a harpsichord and a roaring bonfire but it could never be, previous c-sections have to have an OB present during the delivery. Midwives can be there but they have to transfer care once we reach the hospital. My previous OB with Hattie, wrote in my file that even without an umbilical chord issue, my body might not be able to deliver a baby naturally. Try getting that out of your head. My midwife Christy said, "let your body prove her wrong," but was that the piece of information that was going to trip me up while trying to give birth naturally and send me back to the emergency room? After months of doubt and uncertainty, something happened, a switch was flipped. I had booked a c section for July 6th in the event that if I didn't go into labour on my own before then, we were just going to make it happen, the "nice" c-section. On July 5th I experienced total clarity, I knew what I wanted to do, I wanted to give birth to our baby. I cancelled my c-section for the next day.  You know the moment in Wonder Woman when they're in the trenches and she gets up, climbs the ladder and heads into battle? That's how I felt, unwavering, resolved and empowered. 
Tara McMullen Photography
So there we were, water breaking in the lavender field, the movie moment, hugging friends goodbye and hurriedly shuffling up the hill towards the car, complete strangers clapping for us and wishing us well.  And where was my fear? This negative weight holding me down throughout the entire pregnancy, my fear was nowhere to be found. I felt light and calm and ready. Our midwives instructed us to go home, take a nap, eat a bit. This tiny being was preparing to come but might still take many hours. 
Tara McMullen Photography

Unlike the first pregnancy, I was now on the clock given my previous c section there was a risk with how long I could labour before intervention and timelines don't exactly encourage oxytocin but I didn't have to dig very deep to keep my spirits light hearted, I was honestly in a state of euphoria. Just getting to experience my water break was a huge triumph. 
Back at the farm, we put on a few favourite songs, Hattie and I dancing naked in the living room to U2's With or Without you, Montell Jordan's This is How We Do It. The three of us laughing and dancing in the golden light of the setting sun streaming in through the front windows will be burned in my brain for all time. Hattie does this bum shake dance that never gets old.

Tara McMullen Photography

Tara McMullen Photography

Tara McMullen Photography

I checked in with my midwives, cuz remember that timeline thing. They wanted us to come for 8pm to the clinic and see if there might be any progress. Off we went with a plan to stay at Tyler's parents that night, closer to Belleville General if we needed to move fast. 
Christy and Freya met us there and together we decided to do a small procedure to see if we could get things moving as I had only dialated 1cm. Back at Penny and Bill's we visited a bit and then all went to bed. I slept alone so Tyler and Hattie could get a good sleep, I was going to need him rested. Around 2 am I started to feel some cramping, it was coming on every six or seven minutes but sometimes skipping to ten or 15 minutes. I called Christy and she suggested waiting until things picked up a bit. Around 430 I called again, this time the pain was coming on with a sharpness to it and a little more steady at 5 minutes apart. Christy thought best to come do a check at the house before making our way to the hospital. By the time she arrived, each contraction was bringing me to my knees. All I wanted to do was get low, close my eyes, and release sounds in the most primal way. 
I was dreading a contraction coming on in the van, they were almost too much to bare. With each one, you just move through it and hold on breathing trying to remind yourself the pain is necessary to move your baby, not there to hurt you. 
When we arrived to the hospital I tried to beat the contraction to the front desk but it brought me to my knees in the hall. Within moments I was in a wheel chair and then on a bed, turned around leaning over the head of the bed backwards while kind nurses poked me with IV lines in between contractions. The pain was feeling too much to get up and over, then someone handed me this gas thing that I could administer myself and I sucked on that stick like, well, think Kate Winslet in Titanic when she's on the life raft blowing the whistle. My midwives arrived and all I remember saying in between contractions "can you follow my lead, I know what I need to do." They checked me again and told me I was moments away from being ready to push. I felt it too, the sensation was strong, almost uncontrollable. I remember saying quietly to my unborn baby, "we've got this, it's you and me." So many serendipitous things about this birth, full moon, Tyler's birthday, lavender fields and then my OB, she just happened to be on call the day I go into spontaneous labour. It could have been anyone of the 10 to 12 doctors and I get mine! OB's have to be present for a vbac, (vaginal birth after cesarean) and I was amazed to find such a beautiful working relationship between Dr. Alavi and the midwifery team. There was an unspoken collective team spirit happening and knowing there wasn't an underlying tension between the two departments was such a comfort. The room felt united. 
There we all were, I can't recount much because at a certain point you go so deep and the room disappears. You lock onto a voice here and there giving you a direction, where to push from and how long and when to stop pushing so you don't tear. You go so deep and then you come to the realization you're the only one who can move this baby out of your body. I remember someone placing my hand on the top of her head, I could feel her hair but even then it felt an impossible task. I remember begging for ice chips from Tyler and then he got good, anticipating my next spoonful. Then I remember yelling, 'no more ice!' I remember the mental shift and the moment I knew it was happening and I COULD do it, I would do it. Christy whispering in my ear, "just go to the woods." I don't know how but I also remember the presence of a really kind and funny nurse, later I would know her as Jill and she was snapping photos of the entire thing on Tyler's iPhone! Okay, I'll show you one of those at the end of the story.
Everyone was breathing and working with me in the most profound way. And then I arrived, the top of the mountain, the precipice and I felt her head pass through and then her shoulders quickly after and the sweetest most unbelievable instantaneous relief as they sprang her up onto my chest, we were crying and joyful and vibrating, the room collectively cheering. I could hear Tyler's voice fill with tears, he was overcome with emotion and joy as we kissed. I came back to the room the second she arrived and there I was looking into the eyes of these incredible women who helped me. Christy, Freya, Emily, Dr. Alavi, Jill and my love Tyler. We did it. 
Nurse Jill Photography LOL 

There is nothing in the world I can compare it to. Nothing sweeter, nothing more impossible yet sooo possible. Adeline Ruth (Ruth was my Nana who passed away a couple years ago, my soulmate) Hogan born July 9th, 845am, the very day and exact minute her Father was born! Weighing 6 pounds, 12 ounces. A full head of blonde hair and a surprisingly round shaped head. Seeing as I arrived at the hospital at 6am and delivered by 845am didn't allow for much time in the birth canal. 
The aftercare was incredible at BGH, and although I was told it was safe for me to leave only a few hours after giving birth, I elected to stay the evening. Stacey was my nurse and she was an absolute rock. I'm certain I pushed the call button one too many times but she always made me feel like I could push it again if I needed to. She also stole me an extra pair of those amazing hospital undies. Kathy was my night nurse and she was also incredibly kind. I think by morning some sleep deprivation had kicked in and when Stacey was back on the floor I was calling her Kathy. I was mortified. 
When Hattie came to the hospital the next morning we were overcome with joy to watch her embrace her new sister with such kindness, she was genuinely excited to meet her. I have so many emotions around this area, I'm brought to tears when I think about how madly in love I am with Hattie and how much it hurts that I have to share the love she's used to having all to herself. Luckily, Tyler is her main squeeze and if anything she's getting extra attention right now which is such a comfort. 

Tara McMullen Photography
Tara McMullen Photography
Tara McMullen

As I lay here now in bed at home, cocooning with Adeline, I'm reminded of the early days with Hattie. Moments that feel impossibly hard, tempered by euphoria make it all manageable. 
I am blessed with a quick and ample milk supply and Adeline was latching moments after being born. I breastfed Hattie until she was two and a half and fortunately Adeline is much like her sister, super efficient at the breast. The midwives had hoped to see her gain a few ounces in between visits and she gained 11 ounces! The things that rock your world as a Mom. 
For me, the two experiences are so similar yet worlds different. The recovery time after my c-section was weeks and weeks if not months of emotional trauma too. Tyler had to do everything for me and Hattie in those first weeks because my mobility was so limited. This time I was moving with ease after a few days, taking it easy from a few stitches but the discomfort was manageable. I'm doing all of the things a new mom should be able to, completely unrestricted. 
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you get there as long as the baby is healthy. For me, this was about healing and avoiding major surgery, learning that my body IS capable of giving birth, if it had ended in a c-section at least I could say I tried. 
I wish I could say I enjoyed being pregnant but I'm too impatient. It's the one caveat, waiting 9 months, that's going to be the thing that saves us from having ten more. Honestly I would have all the babies if the baking time was shorter. 

Tara McMullen
Tara McMullen

Tara McMullen Photography

I love being a mom and now a mother to two beautiful girls, it is the greatest joy I have ever known. 
Love to you all and can't wait for you to meet her. 


(Tara captured us perfectly, Tyler and I kissing while Hattie downs the last few licks from her bowl of ice cream.) 


Alison xo

45 comments:

Amanda said...

Oh congratulations, what a beautiful story! Glad you got a different experience this time around!

Unknown said...

I had an emergency c-section with my first and had to be put under (after 40 hours of labour!) We were both fine, thankfully, but it was pretty traumatic as well. My second, third and fourth were all v-back and I'm so thankful! Happy for you! I have four girls and I'm so thankful for the friendships they are building! Sisters are a blessing for sure!

Toronto wedding photographer said...

Congras! Such an amazing love story. Wish you all the best.

Unknown said...

Aww...Nice Images!
Get flowers in discounted rates by using
Bloomthat Coupon

obat perangsang wanita said...

thanks for sharing

Kritika Joy said...

Wow you love story is really very nice, Jaipur escorts - call girls Jaipur and escorts in Udaipur are our latest venture, have a look at them and enjoy.

starfall said...

A very good and informative article indeed . It helps me a lot to enhance my knowledge, I really like the way the writer presented his views. I hope to see more informative and useful articles in future.
brainpop

Raya Resmana said...

I was reading the provided article with a great interest! This post is useful and informative.
obat herbal sembuhkan diabetes gestasional

Unknown said...


Agen Vimax Bandung
Vimax Bandung
Vimax Asli Bandung
Jual Vimax Bandung
Cod Vimax Bandung
Pembesar Penis Bandung
Obat Pembesar Penis Bandung
Hammer Of Thor Bandung
Hammer Of Thor Asli Bandung
Jual Hammer Of Thor Bandung
Titan Gel Bandung
Titan Gel Asli Bandung
Jual Titan Gel Bandung
Cream Titan Gel Bandung
Klg Bandung
Jual Klg Bandung
Klg Asli Bandung
Obat Klg Bandung
Penirum Bandung
Penirum Asli Bandung
Jual Penirum Bandung
Obat Penirum Bandung
Erogan Bandung
Erogan Asli Bandung
Obat Erogan Bandung
Jual Erogan Bandung
Obat Forex Bandung
Obat Forex Asli Bandung
Jual Obat Forex Bandung
Testo Ultra Bandung
Testo Ultra Asli Bandung
Obat Testo Ultra Bandung
Jual Testo Ultra Bandung

Hammer Of Thor Asli said...


Ciri Obat Forex Asli
Agen Titan Gel Asli
Titan Gel Asli
Hammer Of Thor Asli
Ciri Ciri Hammer Of Thor Asli
Obat Pembesar Penis
Obat Pembesar Penis
Jual Forex Asli
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli
Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Cibubur
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Karawaci
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Pamulang
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Bsd
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Bekasi
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Serpong
Jual Testo Ultra Asli Di Tangerang
Jual titan Gel Asli Di Bogor
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Aceh

Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Jepara
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Banyumas
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Kendal
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Pati
Jual Hammer Of Thor Asli Di Purwodadi

Viagra Asli said...

Alat Bnatu Sex
Alat Bantu Sex
Alat Bantu Sex
Alat Bantu Sex
Alat Bantu Sex
Alat Bantu Sex
Alat Bantu Sex
Jual Sex Toys
Sex Toys Wanita

Vimax Asli
Agen Vimax Asli
Alat Bantu Sex
Penyubur Sperma Semenax
Obat Kuat Sony
Jual Cialis Asli

Minyak Lintah Asli
Hammer Of Thor Asli
JUal Vimax Asli
Obat Pembesar Penis
Vakum Penis
Viagra Asli
Obat Kuat Levitra
Jual Sex Toys

Unknown said...

Khulafa Biotekhnology adalah perusahaan terkemuka di bidang pengelolaan sampah dengan teknologi canggih inovatif. Sejak awal berdiri, Khulafa Biotecknology telah memberikan kontribusi yang besar dalam pengembangan pengelolaan sampah dengan cara yang mudah, cepat dan higeinis. Motto kami adalah “FOR THE LIVING OF BETTER EARTH” perusahaan kami peduli pada masa depan bumi dan ingin mendorong orang untuk secara serius mengelola sampah dengan cara yang baik, sehat dan benar. Kami ada untuk kehidupan yang lebih baik bagi bumi kita ini. Melalui bantuan produk kami yang inovatif, dengan bangga kami memperkenalkannya sebagai HygienTech Recycle Organic Waste in 24 hours. HygienTech Recycle Organic Waste in 24 hours adalah mesin pengolahan sampah organik yang bekerja secara otomatis, mengolah semua jenis sampah organik menjadi pupuk kompos dalam waktu 24 jam. Semua proses berjalan secara higeinis, tak berbau, dan tanpa penggunaan bahan KIMIA, murni merupakan proses biologi dan fisika. Melalui pengaturan lingkungan reaktor mesin dan kerja effisien enzim menghasilkan sebuah proses dekomposisi yang optimal. Sampah organik yang bau, menjijikan, mengganggu keindahan dan kesehatan seketika (24 JAM) berubah menjadi pupuk kompos (bahan alam yang sangat berguna dan sangat aman bagi kembali suburnya bumi). HygienTech Recycle Organic Waste in 24 hours mengolah sampah menjadi material berharga tinggi, tanpa meninggalkan sampah.

Unknown said...

Kami adalah DISTRIBUTOR KERTAS NASI ala/seperti KFC/McD
yang telah memiliki SERTIFIKAT FOODGRADE
{ISEGA for Food Grade Paper Code of Federal Regulations, Food and Drugs ( FDA),
21 CFR Ch. I ( April 1, 2010 edition )},
yang utama dan terpercaya di Indonesia berkedudukan di DKI Jakarta.

Parker said...

To avoid Dog Food Poisoning Symptoms you need certain things. It isn't supposed to float, just a little water is plenty. Eating is the principal way of introducing aluminum into the body since it's easily absorbed by the body via the digestive tract. In case it rolls you might want to forget it. Also, depending upon your tap water source you may want to look at using bottled water. It's possible for you to discover Western timothy hay in the majority of pet stores, but you would like to be sure that you locate a bag that looks nice and fresh. Food should be various and of top quality. A dog needs to be seen immediately in the event the blood flow appears not to stop. Attempting to kill a snake is a particularly dangerous activity.

sahmon said...

Your family is very cute.



goldenslot

goldenslot

สมัครแทงบอล

fahrini said...

Thanks for informative post , Its really provide an excellent information. And want more information regarding organic
dewacintaqq
dewacintaqq.com
keluaran togel
Bandar Togel Online
togel online
Prediksi Togel
bandar togel
Bandar Poker
dewacinta.com
daftar agen poker
berita terbaru

Mozmee007 said...

She looks happy with her family.




sbobet
ทางเข้า sbo
ทางเข้า sbobet

Unknown said...

Hello, Very excellent, This is very asking, important and well-known brief content. I like it. the necessary to you. thanks for developing up up kinds of this brief considering us. Escort in Delhi | Beautiful Companion in Gurgaon, | Delhi Model Companion Service | Independent Call Girls in Gurgaon

Unknown said...

Best Wedding photographer in jaipur
Great post and very helpful for me.Thanks for share this post and good post

Sasha said...

Call girls in jaipur
good knowledge for your post thanks and lovely post

Raya Resmana said...

very helpful for us because it can add knowledge and insight,
cara menyembuhkan otitis media akut menahun secara alami, cara untuk menghentikan pendarahan saat haid yang berlebihan

xjd7410@gmail.com said...

20180504 hxy
burberry outlet online
coach outlet store online
ugg outlet
michael kors outlet online
chrome hearts outlet
pandora outlet
polo ralph lauren shirts
wellensteyn outlet
swarovski crystal
coach outlet online

Shahriar Islam said...

Very nice picture i have ever seen.
HSC Result 2018

Degree 2nd Year Exam Routine 2018

Bangla Eid SMS 2018

น้องส้มส้ม said...

I follow the story of Adeline for me. For anyone who is interested in Adeline's story to read on this site at all. ธรณีพิบัติภัย

Unknown said...

I have been looking forward to visiting back here again. Daemon Tools Lite Serial Number

Unknown said...

adidas tubular
nike flyknit trainer
nike roshe
nike sneakers
red bottom shoes
yeezy boost
yeezy sneakers
michael kors outlet store
nike air max 90
huaraches

anamika said...

Now we are providing call girls And escorts services for any genitals man want Mumbai escorts service our escort agency best for call girls service in Mumbai
Mumbai Escorts
Mumbai Escorts Service
Escorts Service In Mumbai

Unknown said...

Amazing Article.
Very nice post I really enjoyed it...You can also visit my website for
Dehradun Angel
Dehradun Escorts Service

Exam Result said...

To get ssc result visit ssc exam result 2019

yanmaneee said...

westbrook shoes
converse outlet
balenciaga shoes
nhl jerseys
yeezy boost
nike air max 95
nike shoes
kevin durant shoes
golden goose
birkin bag

result said...

The HSC Result 2019 All Education Board Bangladesh will be published at the same time. There are 10 Education Boards are available in Bangladesh. 8 General Education Board provides HSC Result, A Madrasah Education Board provides Alim Result and a Technical Education Provides HSC BM Result.
HSC Result 2019

Live game said...

Great tips and very easy to understand. This will definitely be very useful for me when I get a chance to start my blog.All Bangla Newspaper

Live game said...

I love the way you write and share your niche! Very interesting and different! Keep it coming!Online Bangla Newspaper

Live game said...

We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post. Great workGoogle play codes giveaway

Chitra Krishnan said...

tamil celebrity escorts in india

kannada celebrity escorts

indian celebrity escorts service

dubai call girls

dubai high class escorts

dubai escorts

MD Robiul Islam said...

A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing the information, keep doing awesome... I truly delighted in investigating your site. great asset...Continue blogging. Hoping to perusing your next post. SSC Routine 2020 PDF

MD Rakib Ahmed said...

oho great.

remove white background | create clipping mask photoshop

Clipping Path said...

online photo background remover
online background remover
remove white background
mirror effect background

MD Rakib Ahmed said...

Best articles r there
remove white background | create clipping mask photoshop

albina N muro said...

Thank you so much for sharing this great blog.Very inspiring and helpful too.Hope you continue to share more of your ideas.I will definitely love to read. buy likes free trial

CGIFurniture said...

Great points there, thanks. And here is another relevant article, maybe someone will find it useful too https://cgifurniture.com

yanmaneee said...

yeezy 700
golden goose outlet
supreme hoodie
nike sb dunks
off white x jordan 1
nike dunks
yeezy boost
stone island
lebron 17
supreme outlet

anusree said...

I love this post,,it is realy interesting

vielas said...

i like this post
its really interesting !!

poltartoto

rohan_here said...

Unlike the first pregnancy, I was now on the clock given my previous c section there was a risk with how long I could labour before intervention and timelines don't exactly encourage oxytocin but I didn't have to dig very deep to keep my spirits light hearted, I was honestly in a state of euphoria. Just getting to experience my water break was a huge triumph.